


Implausible Deniability

by Farscapegeek



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Attempt at Humor, Awkward Derek, BAMF Lydia Martin, Based on a Tumblr Post, DC Characters - Freeform, Derek Hale as Superman, Derek Is So Done, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Scott McCall as Two-Face, Stiles Stilinski as Batman, comic book characters, press, sorry not sorry for villain Scott
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-14 17:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10540821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Farscapegeek/pseuds/Farscapegeek
Summary: “Do you want to explain this?” Lydia asks, nay, demands.Derek looks down at the photo and winces. It's him and Batman, clearly making out in the alley behind the gala Stilinski Enterprises had held the night before.“I tripped?” He replied weakly.“Tripped. Tripped somehow onto Batman's mouth?” Lydia’s voice growing more shrill at every word.“Ummmm yes?”“Would you like to try again?”“Not especially no.”AKA The one where Derek (Superman) gets caught making out with Batman (Stiles) and the reporter's quiet life of anonymity is blown.Please stop snickering Stiles it isn't funny.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [que_divertido](https://archiveofourown.org/users/que_divertido/gifts).



> Based on this tumblr prompt from deprofundisclamoadte :
> 
> where's the fic where Clark Kent gets caught kissing Batman, and then gets hounded by the media every waking moment because “average civilian is dating Batman!!” and Clarks mourning the loss of his anonymity, meanwhile Bruce thinks its fucking hilarious, enjoy dealing w the press in both of your alter egos now, pretty boy, so Clark waits several months for the whole thing to die down before showing up as Superman to some party Bruce is attending and flying up to Bruce and going “paybacks a bitch” and just full on makes out with him in front of like a million reporters
> 
> Saw the prompt on tumblr and immediately thought of sterek, like i do. When I told que-divertido she demanded the fic for her birthday. So sorry I was so late in posting it!

“Do you want to explain this?” Lydia asks, nay, demands.

Derek looks down at the photo and winces. It's him and Batman, clearly making out in the alley behind the gala Stilinski Enterprises had held the night before. 

“I tripped?” He replied weakly. 

“Tripped. Tripped somehow onto Batman's mouth?” Lydia’s voice growing more shrill at every word. 

“Ummmm yes?”

“Would you like to try again?”

“Not especially no.”

“Just when exactly where you going to tell me that you, Reporter Derek Hale of The Daily Planet, is the boyfriend of Batman?” 

“Why do you assume boyfriend? He could have just got gotten up in the heat of the rescue and, uh, mistaken me for someone else.”

“Hale, I didn't get where I am from being stupid. This picture right here is not of someone kissing for the first time. This is a thank god you are alive, I don't know what I would do without you kiss.”

He opens his mouth to defend himself but finds he really can't. After all Lydia is right. 

 

__________________________________________

_The Night Before_

“Reporter Derek Hale of The Daily Planet we meet again. And this time with you in a suit that is semi passable. I told you to never shop at John Varvatos again. Although how you managed to look good in that much denim is a continuing mystery to me.” 

Derek flushes dark red to the tips of his ears. He had saved for 3 month after that fashion faux pas, in order to buy a nice tux for all the galas he ended up covering in the name of the paper. People tended to be a lot looser lipped with their scandals if they didn't know a reporter was about. And while yes, he primarily write the Superman beat, Lydia paid him extra for any gossip he contributed to the weekly _Martin Meddles in Metropolis _gossip column. She said he radiated innocence so no one thinks twice about him being the one that gives away their secrets. He had felt so guilty about it the first time he did it, he went out and saved kittens from trees for a whole Saturday.__

____

____

___It was actually how he first met Stiles Stilinski of Stilinski Enterprises, otherwise known as Batman. He had overheard Stiles saying something at a gala, and when it got printed the next week Batman had tracked him down. He did not appreciate his comments about then DA friend Scott McCall and his childhood best friend Allison being made public. Stiles had told him later he was just concerned at the pace their romance was moving. He didn't want Allison hurt as she was still reeling from the death of her mother._ _ _

___Stiles as Batman had been so passionate in his argument on why he was a no good sleazebag journalist, posed as he was on Derek’s balcony with his cape billowing in the breeze. He had really tried to listen but the cape had gotten stuck on one of his orchids and he couldn't help but laugh. At first Batman had been highly offended at the laughter but then Derek had said, “Stiles come in for a drink” and that had stopped him cold._ _ _

___Revelations were made, drinks were shared and the night had ended with significantly less clothes than it had started with. They decided to keep their relationship secret as A: They were both moonlighting as superheroes. B: Living in different cities. And C: The press hounded Stiles the; _billionaire, socially awkward playboy, genius, wannabe philanthropist if only he wouldn't show up to the galas and give a talk about circumcision again, please just write us a check Stilinski.__ _ _

_____“Well they say the suit makes the man. Afterall, anything for the Wildlife Rehabilitation Center of Gotham County. So Mr Stilinski do you have any updates on when you are implementing your green initiative for your company?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I'm glad you asked. By 2018 I aim to have all my businesses and those I have shares in to be completely energy independent. We will do this by-”_ _ _ _ _

_____At this point there was a large crash as the vaulted glass ceiling of the conservatory crashed in. Two-Face, better known to Stiles as Scott McCall before his tragic accident, appeared amongst the pedestrians scrambling out of the way. Along with his group of heavily armed lackeys._ _ _ _ _

_____“Shit, I'll stall him, Derek go change.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“No it has to be you Stiles. Superman doesn't live in Gotham, and would have no reason to be here, it's too suspicious.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Fuck you're right. Be careful alright?” Stiles gives his hand a squeeze before he runs off._ _ _ _ _

_____“WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS BATMAN?” Two- Face bellows._ _ _ _ _

_____“Being a little hasty aren’t we? Did you honestly expect Batman to show up just because you said his name? Or are you hoping that if you say his name three times he will appear like Bloody Mary?” Derek inquires as he steps out into the clear._ _ _ _ _

_____“Derek Hale.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“The one and only.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Bit far from Metropolis aren’t you?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“News doesn’t only occur there.” Derek sees a shadow move out from a corner and tries to nonchalantly move towards the center of the room. He needs to try and keep Two- Face’s attention on him._ _ _ _ _

_____“Well there will be no Superman flying in to save you tonight. And if the bat doesn't show up in the next minute then i will start killing people, starting with you. You can be the news for once instead of just writing it. Assuming of course the coin wants me to.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Derek snorts._ _ _ _ _

_____“You think that’s funny Hale?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“No, I’m laughing because Batman is right behind you.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Batman smirks at this. “Aww Mr. Hale, you cut off his monologue I'm sure he was gonna give.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Meh I’m honestly a bit tired of them to be honest. Hear a lot of them in Metropolis.” Derek snarks back._ _ _ _ _

_____Two Face snarls at this and after that things were a bit of a blur. Derek helped to get civilians to safety as gunfire railed about them. Instead of a charity auction the night ended in a whirl of smoke, gunshots and screams. After Two-Face narrowly escaped capture again, Derek caught up with Stiles in an alley behind the conservatory._ _ _ _ _

_____“Thank God you are safe! There was so much gunfire I was worried.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Stiles, my skin literally repels bullets.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Yeah but most people don’t know that. And that suit does fit you mighty fine, would hate for it to get ruined.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I’m just glad you are safe Stiles. Was worried for a second when he managed to trap you in the subtropical rainforest.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Mmmm, bet he didn’t expect to get a face full of fern. I’m just sorry I didn’t get to do the auction. There was a weekend in a hotel by the Seine in Paris, was gonna buy it for the two of us.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Don’t you own a house in Paris?” Derek asks incredulously._ _ _ _ _

_____“Well technically it’s a chateau, but it doesn’t have spa service or a oomph!”_ _ _ _ _

_____At this Derek cuts off Stiles’ explanation with a kiss. Stiles instantly deepens it, his frustrations on their night being ruined, and the both of them being put in danger showing. Stiles was just about to press him against the wall when they heard the click of a camera. Jackson, the Daily Planet’s star photographer stood there smirking behind his camera. “Oh man Lydia is gonna love this.”_ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _

_____Jackson now stood in the corner of the office with the same smug smirk on his face._ _ _ _ _

_____“Maybe you can help me out Jackson, did you happen to hear any of their conversation before this point?” Lydia inquires._ _ _ _ _

_____His smirk falters slightly. “No I came out the back looking for Hale and there he was.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Well then why are you still standing in my office if you have nothing to add?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Leaving now ma’am.” Jackson yelps as he scurries away._ _ _ _ _

_____“Do you know what I hate Mr. Hale? Being made a fool of. And this? This is being made a fool. Here you are, one of my own employees making out with motherfucking Batman. You know that Jackson called the overnight editor to get these printed? The editor thought he was being pranked so he hung up. So Jackson the moronic douchetool decides to post it on his twitter instead of calling me, promising an exclusive story in the morning. One we don't have. So I get to wake up to hundreds of alerts on my phone, from our competitors, to the fucking Today Show with Matt Lauer, asking for info on a story I have no clue about. All because of a moron photographer and an employee that better give me a good reason on why I’m not firing his pert ass.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Because firing me would be illegal? Discrimination laws prevent you from firing me based on my sexual orientation. Not to mention the ethics violations of you trying to blackmail your best reporter for a story. But you know, go ahead, I can always just move to Gotham with my boyfriend and ask him to buy a majority stake in The Daily Planet. After all he is a billionaire.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Lydia narrows her eyes at him. “Fine. But as the price of your silence you get to deal with the press all by your lonesome. So get ready to get hounded by your very coworkers.” With a malicious smile she waves him out of her office._ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _

_____Two months later and Derek wishes he would have let Lydia blackmail him. He has friggin TMZ hounding his every step. Reporters found out where he lived on the first day and have been camped out on his doorstep ever since. Needless to say his HOA was not pleased with this development._ _ _ _ _

_____He had hoped that the media hysteria would die down after a few days but apparently his ‘awkward stammering charm’ as Stiles put it, won over the press. True to her word Lydia did not help him at all. In fact she took a certain amount of glee in forwarding media requests to his desk._ _ _ _ _

_____Stiles found the media attention hilarious. He just did not understand how Derek could be so suave and collected as Superman, and such a fail as his alter ego. “Who says the phrase lickity split? Golly gee? In a jiffy?” Stiles had laughed so hard his face had started to turn purple. He especially liked the article that ONTD did on Derek's butt._ _ _ _ _

_____But after two months of being the newest hot thing in Metropolis, Derek was on the cusp of losing it. Because he was being constantly followed he couldn't be Superman as often as he liked. If his complex didn't have an underground parking structure he's not sure he could have managed it at all. As it was, wading through a storm drain to get away so he could finally fly to the rescue wasn't his idea of fun._ _ _ _ _

_____He also had a boyfriend that had had to rescue him 3 times from being kidnapped by Batman's various enemies. Derek already had a hard enough time pretending to be human. So having to sit there and wait to be rescued while the bad guys attempted to rough him up was getting very annoying. Especially since the last lackey to punch him in the face had broken his hand. He wondered if he should start carrying around packets of fake blood because when the first kidnapper had tried to stab him it was very awkward when the knife broke instead of going in. He had played it off as wearing some newfangled body armor but that excuse wouldn't work forever._ _ _ _ _

_____The first time he had been ‘rescued’ by Batman Stiles had grabbed him, dipped him, and then laid on a very theatrical kiss. “I'm so glad you’re safe my Der Bear!” The press had had a field day with that. He had been sent enough teddy bears from their shipper fans (“What the hell are shippers Stiles?)” that the local children's hospital had actually refused more donations from him._ _ _ _ _

_____But after a few months of the media attention even Stiles was starting to be annoyed with it. He couldn't see Stiles because no one knew that Stiles was Batman. So now he had a very sexually frustrated boyfriend. Stiles had started to send him explicit texts all day long leading to many times he had to escape to the bathroom in case anyone noticed his, uh, _situation _. He had yelled at him to stop because what if he got hacked? People would find out who he really was. Stiles had shrugged and said he had the best encryption on the market, and that's why he only sent pictures from the neck down. (Most were way more south than that).___ _ _ _ _

_______At this point Derek wanted an arch enemy to threaten world wide domination if just to get the media attention off of ‘Hottie Hale’. Stiles had offered to create a scandal or something to get the media off of Derek's ‘very fine’ behind. Derek had scowled and hung up on him... again.___ _ _ _ _

_________But now Derek had seriously had enough. Last night had been his mother's birthday and usually he would just fly out to Kansas to celebrate with her. But he didn't want to bring the press there so he had had to settle for skyping with his family instead. He had spent a long night plotting on something that would finally get the media's attention off him when it hit him. There was a new Batman statue being unveiled in Gotham outside Stilinski Corp Headquarters, and all the press in the area was invited._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________Lydia had gladly given him the assignment of the unveiling and had only raised her eyebrows when he had requested that Jackson come along as his phototog. They hadn't exactly seen eye to eye lately since Jackson was kinda responsible for the mess of Derek's life at the moment. After a very uncomfortable car ride to Gotham, Derek had dropped Jackson off near the site and said he would go park the van in a complex he had spotted a few blocks away. It wasn't hard to slip into his Superman outfit from there and count down to the time he knew Stiles would be on stage._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________The look on Stiles’ face as he flew up was priceless. A mixture of, oh shit what's going on should I change into my costume?, to a dawning horror as he realized exactly what Derek was up to. Landing neatly beside him he grabs him and pulls his in close. “Paybacks a bitch” he whispers before the ‘makeout session of the year’ as the papers all called it began._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I had a great time trying to figure out the different roles in the DC verse the Teen Wolf crew would play. The hardest role to cast was that of the villain. In the end I picked Two-Face and Scott, because it just seemed to make the most sense. In Teen Wolf Scott often views situations as very black and white, much like Two-Face does. It just seemed to fit. I really hope I got the balance of all the characters right, and did both them and the original prompt justice.


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